Why Your Relationships Are Important For Resilience

Positive relationships and supportive environments have an important role to play in your wellbeing and resilience.  

The picture above shows some of my triathlon group getting ready before setting off to complete the 70.3 Ironman Triathlon in Busselton, Australia in May 2021. I joined a group run by Valetudo Fitness and Physio, coached by Corrie Johnson. The experience of training with this awesome group of people made a huge difference to me. The support and encouragement was unbelievable. It made training and competing a fun experience!

The American Psychological Association wrote in its resilience report: “Many studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships that create love and trust, provide role models and offer encouragement and reassurance, help bolster a person’s resilience.”

What social groups are you part of and how often do you meet up?  In the last 2 years meeting on-line and sharing stories has become the norm but as we move out of the isolation and social distancing we can start to meet in person again.  Understanding that our relationships and social interactions contribute to our wellbeing it is no surprise that mental health has suffered.

If you Google wellbeing and relationships, there are many links to research on the link between good mental health and positive, strong relationships.  People who are more socially connected to family, friends or their community are happier, physically healthier and live longer with fewer mental health problems than people who are less well connected.

Tough Times

I know that when I’ve had tough times it’s always been the people close to me who have provided the emotional support I need.  When my husband was diagnosed with cancer and was admitted to hospital for surgery within 24 hours of seeing his GP, it was my best friend Heather & her husband Nicholas who took me into their home so I would not be alone.  

Despite being on the other side of the world from my family, I know that all I need to do is call and they are there for me.

You may not have the opportunity to have such strong relationships with your family, but having just one friend, who you trust, is enough to help you weather challenging times.  This friend may be as a result of a close working relationship or someone from a sporting club or other hobby such as dancing or singing.  

Human Connection

Working remotely we know has taken its toll.  Making connections online in a virtual environment is possible.  It may take more energy to begin with but if you make the effort it is possible.  In the last two years, I been part of an amazing group organising #ACDC (Australasian Change Days) with people in Melbourne and Sydney, who I have either met once in person or only through Zoom.  The shared connection I have with these people is as good as having them in the same room as me.  We have supported each other throughout the pandemic - each with our own challenges.  I am truly grateful for the compassion and care we have for one another.  Thank you Sarah Glenister, Myah Rohm, Jo Doyle and Ro Gorell for your friendship and amazing support.

Things you can do

Maybe you have struggled building or maintaining strong relationships during the pandemic as you’ve not been comfortable using the technology or don’t have great internet connections.  You can still call people and maybe even consider writing a letter instead.   I know that I love receiving cards or letters from friends or family rather than an email or text message. 

So if you are feeling less resilient, look at what you can do to reconnect with old friends or join a club, be courageous.  If you struggle with how to make connections with new people then consider some of the tips below:

Tips for improving relationships

1. Improve your listening skills.  Work on listening to what people say.  Suspend the voice in your head, take a breath and really focus on what the other person is saying.
2. Seek to understand the other person by asking questions.  Do this in a way to show you are really interested in getting to understand their perspective.
3. Be present.  Be mindful of not just the words they are using but what they are doing with their body.  Are they relaxed or showing signs of tension?  What is their facial expression?
4. Be yourself.  Be confident, trustworthy, positive and above all fun.  People who build great relationships feel good about who they are and always look for the positive in their world. They genuinely want the best for others and want to see them succeed.

If you would like more help, with how you can improve your relationships, so that you can thrive rather than just survive, then maybe working with a coach would help.  I will be launching a very special 8 week programme in April, focused on helping you discover and unleash your inner superpowers.   To find out more please follow me here on LinkedIn, Facebook & Instagram and look out in the next couple of weeks for more information.